And just like that, the heart expands

Calm chaos just got a little more calm (those newborn snuggles) and a LOT more chaotic! Meet Mack! The newest member of our crew arrived on Monday morning. And he has literally been smothered with love from Keener and Grace since the minute he came home.

Despite having two kids and knowing how instantly the heart can expand, I still had my doubts. Maybe it was due to all of the extra time I had been spending with them these last 5 months. But I actually had it in my head that I might not feel for this new baby the way I feel for Keener and Grace.

Then he was born. And I was instantly reminded that the heart’s ability to expand and love knows no limits.

I have so many thoughts and ideas to share, however I just don’t have the brain capacity to gather my ideas this week. These early newborn sleepless nights are interfering with my ability to form coherent thoughts. So instead, here are some ideas I plan to share more about in the weeks to come:

  • Delivering during a pandemic
  • Dealing with uncertainty for ourselves and those we love the most
  • Supporting the emotional needs of newborns, toddlers and ourselves
  • Control – a lack of it and a desire to attain it
  • Body acceptance and self love “Mommy, why do you look like you still have a baby in your tummy?” – thanks Grace!
  • The circle of life
  • Handling joy along with pain

I will leave you with my go to mantra that has been powering me through: I can do hard things. I use this with Keener and have been using it myself with increased frequency. Heading to the hospital, knowing I had to take the COVID test – I can do hard things. Planning for a vaginal birth but of course not knowing how he would enter the world – I can do hard things. Balancing my attention among all 3 of my kids – I can do hard things. Nursing a newborn who doesn’t want to sleep and having two kids awake and scared of a thunderstorm at 3 AM – I can do hard things.

And when I feel like I can’t do one more hard thing, I break down. And that’s OK too. I ask for help and let myself feel all the feelings. Thanks to hormones, that’s a lot of feelings. But just as I remind my kids, feelings come and go. The more I embrace the feelings, the faster I know they will process – just like I tell my kids. Which makes me realize that there is no better way to help my kids handle their own emotions than to actively practice what I preach.

12 comments

  1. Mack is so very precious Jenny…such a darling family!
    And love this post…feel our feelings and keep on keeping on:)
    Congratulations and love to you!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.